I got a phone call from the relief society president today. The bishop called her, and asked if I was still visiting teaching. She explained that she'd asked if I still felt comfortable doing it, and since I was, kept me on the list. He said he was questioning the wisdom of that, and asked that she release me as a visiting teacher.
She seemed nervous telling me this, like I'd be really upset. She even asked if I was ok with it.
I said, "Well, honestly, I'm a little insulted. But I have to admit that I understand the reasoning behind his decision".
It's true. If I were in the bishop's shoes, I don't think I'd want an admitted apostate going into people's homes as a representative of my church. Sure, I wouldn't tell these ladies my beliefs. But, people did see me in tank tops this summer, and I haven't stepped foot in church for months. It's bound to raise questions, and I have always been upfront and honest with people.
I am relieved to not have to worry about it anymore. I felt uncomfortable going in there, and trying to deliver a message that I didn't necessarily believe. I was even annoyed with myself for saying I still wanted to do it.
But, on the other hand, I don't like the implication that I was going to try and lure other people away.
I am going to choose not to take offense because I would do the same thing if roles were reversed, and frankly, I don't want to feel obligated to go visit people anymore. I may try to strike up friendships with the two girls we visited though, and it would feel more genuine since I wouldn't have a church assignment behind me.
Post a Comment